Letting Go of the Struggle Mindset
Hey Friends,
Growing up, I was taught that struggle builds character. That resistance makes us stronger. That anything worth having must come from hardship, pain, and sacrifice. Maybe you were raised with similar messages—the belief that if it didn’t hurt, it wasn’t real or valuable.
For a long time, I carried that mindset with me. Even now, I recognize that the struggles I’ve faced have played a role in shaping the woman I am today. But I want to challenge that thinking.
Because I don’t believe it was the struggle that made me. It was the journey.
As a Black woman, I have seen how so many other Black women walk around with battle scars—both emotional and physical—often being knighted as a "Strong Black Woman." But why must our strength be found only in pain? Why is our resilience only celebrated when it comes at the expense of our softness?
I was led to believe that in struggle, there is an award—one that only those who have endured the most will gain. That suffering somehow proves our worthiness. But I refuse to continue to allow struggle to be a medal I wear.
I have resigned from that mindset. I now believe that I deserve softness, love, and light.
I am embracing the journey of the soft Black girl life—one where I allow myself to seek joy, peace, and ease without guilt. A life where I am processing, healing, and thriving, rather than just struggling and surviving.
I’ve started to reframe my mindset. Instead of glorifying struggle, I ask myself:
How can I lean into flow rather than force?
What does it look like to grow from love instead of lack?
How can I honor my journey without holding onto my pain as proof of my worthiness?
This shift doesn’t mean ignoring difficulties or pretending life is always easy. But it does mean I no longer measure my strength by how much I’ve suffered. Instead, I choose to honor my resilience, my wisdom, and my capacity for joy.
So, I want to challenge you, my dear readers, to shift this narrative as well. To unlearn the idea that struggle is a requirement for success or that suffering is the only path to transformation. Instead, let’s embrace the truth that our journeys do not have to be defined by trauma. We can honor the process, the lessons, and the growth—without centering pain as the catalyst.
What if ease, love, and alignment were just as powerful as struggle?
What if softness didn’t mean weakness, but liberation?
What if we gave ourselves permission to rewrite the story?
I invite you to sit with these questions and start embracing the idea that you are worthy of joy, not just resilience. That your life can be full without being full of struggle. That you deserve a journey where thriving is the focus, not just surviving.
Let’s release the struggle mindset together.
With love and softness,
Rose 💛
